Who doesn’t love a good baecation, especially if it involves taking flights and knocking back shots in an international locale? And where, in the world, is more alluring—with diverse options for almost every couple—than Jamaica?
It is undoubtedly my favorite island in the world, and recently I got the chance to try out a few amazing new experiences with my man, taking us from the east to the west, from sexy excitement and fun mayhem, to alluring sightseeing and connection. If you’re looking to take your bae to the Caribbean (or give your partner a few hints for your next trip), try these itineraries curated by yours truly.
CRAZY… BUT WORTH IT: Cross-Island Road Trip
Start your road trip in Westmoreland Parish and make your final destination an oasis of rum. On this trip, bae and I drove through nine of the island’s 14 parishes in 24 hours. Rent a car or hire a driver and get on the road. Jamaica is best seen and experienced by car for sure!
Where To Stay
Traveller’s Beach Resort, Negril
Start in Negril on Seven Mile Beach, and skip the big resorts to enjoy a bit more bang for your buck with the vibes, modern amenities, and beachfront access here. It’s affordable, the rooms are cute, and you’ll be in a prime location to take the main roads for this trip.
1st: Cool Oasis, Negril
It’s the largest indigenous fuel provider in Jamaica, the prices are great, and the gas price matches the quality. It’s a great place to get all the snacks, extra cash for tolls, and drinks you need to enjoy a road trip for two. After gassing up and getting snacks and drinks, we hit the road along Seven Mile Beach, on through Hanover and into the next parishes of St. James, Trewlawney, and St. Ann, and on into Clarendon.
2nd: Murrays Fish And Jerk Hut, Clarendon
Located in Clarendon, this stop is a must if you’re taking any sort of trip west to east. And while there are dozens of jerk centers across the island, this is one of the best simply due to the unique taste and smoke of the meats. Bae likes the chicken but this is the only time I cheat and eat pork ever. (When it’s your turn to order, just say «I want a quarter pork please.» It’s a portion perfect for one.) Add festival, (a fried slightly sweet bread that tastes a little like hushpuppies but better) to your order, and thank me later.
3rd: Worthy Park Estate Rum Distillery, St. Catherine
Just getting up the winding hilly terrain for this attraction is scenic (and borderline scary) enough, and once you arrive, you’ll find the trip was well worth it. The lushness of the expansive property embraces you, and your tour, which originates at their welcome center, begins with rum punch served by the in-house bartender.
You’ll then be immersed in the history of the company, how their diverse brands of rum are made (with my favorite being Rum Bar Rum Cream), and a full walking tour of their distillery (which could actually give any California winery a run for its money when it comes to the alluring atmosphere, cool-comfy valley breezes, and the delightful sticky-sweet smell of fresh barrels of liquor).
The tour, of course, ended with a tasting of four samples of different types of rum (and a bottle of water to sip in between). And of course, one of us had to take one sip and call it quits since we had some more driving to do.
We headed on through St. Catherine (passing near Linstead and Spanish Town to be exact), then through the southern part of Clarendon, and then on to Manchester (where there are big beautiful homes and the weather can get cold like in the States). We then went through St. Elizabeth to pass through my second-favorite town, White House, then finally to Savanna-la-Mar, and on to where we started, Negril.
SEXY & CHILL: Club-Hopping, Cocktails, And Cannabis
For this trip, bae and I wanted to let loose and explore a little wild fun. We hadn’t had a crazy, drunken, throw-caution-to-the-wind weekend since the day we met, so we wanted to lounge, do a little partying, and try a few new things. To spice things up, we were able to check a few things off our «We Ain’t Too Old Yet» bucket list.
Where To Stay
Deja Resort, Montego Bay
It’s right on the Hip Strip, across the street from Doctor’s Cove Beach and literally steps away from any and every popular restaurant (think, Margaritaville). You can enjoy the open bar and the complimentary breakfast, and after one too many rum-punch rounds, slide on into a little secluded rendezvous with your boo in the upper-level hot tub. The area gives sensual vibes by sunset, and the added shade of the palm trees and other greenary around the pool just adds to the allure. (Again, keep it on the hush, sis, and take heed to discretion. There are several little hidden nooks that it’s just irresistible, but if you get caught, you’re on your own!)
Where To Go
Taboo, Montego Bay
I’d heard about the location in Kingston, but since I’m always traveling to the western parts of Jamaica, I’d never visited. I’m no stranger to strip clubs (well, the ones that employ women) so I thought it would be a good idea to check the Montego Bay location out.
We went on a Wednesday, and it wasn’t too crowded. The entertainers there were fun, down-to-earth, and beautiful in a way that was inviting and relatable. They really didn’t hold back, to the point where my man—a born-and-raised Jamaican who is 10 years my senior, has several children and has been well around the block several times— was even blushing. We both got private as well as couple’s dances and enjoyed every minute of it.
Added bonus: The drinks were exotic, strong, and worth every penny.
Lounge 2727, Montego Bay
This is another spot on Montego Bay’s Hip Strip, and if strippers aren’t your thing, you can get your party, drink, and eat on here. They have hookah, beer, wine, and cocktails, and again, the views, the views, the views! Depending on the night, you can dance (or lounge) to the soundtrack of dancehall, hip-hop, and R&B hits, and, as a bonus, it’s steps away from Island Strains, a marijuana dispensary that, on my first visit, I actually accidentally walked into thinking it was a lounge. (And do I have to spell it out for you sis? This has all the makings of a potentially Hangover-worthy spontaneous sexy adventure waiting to happen.)
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