On the most recent episode of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Gabriel Paboga came out to Isabel Posada’s parents.
While most viewers have praised him, Gabe has sadly found himself under attack by transphobic viewers over social media.
At least they’re keeping things interesting, because the transphobes can be separated into two groups … attacking Gabe with contradictory bigoted accusations.
Sadly, this is nothing new for him. He has dealt with senseless cruelty before. This time, he’s laughing it off.
On Instagram, Gabriel offered a somewhat lighthearted message for some truly hateful trolls.
“To all the people hating on me, calling me a woman,” he noted, referring to transphobes who misgender him.
Gabe told them that “there’s also a group of people that are saying that I’m not trans.”
“Because I have a receding hairline,” Gabriel continued.
“And,” he explained, “they said that I have ‘man hands’ so I’m not trans.”
Fascinating mode of attack. Gabe is not the first to find himself the target of this kind of unorthodox bigotry. But there’s more.
Gabriel joked that these malcontents need to “get together and agree” on their attack strategy.
Do they intend to misgender him by calling him a “woman” in a more typical transphobic style?
Or do they want to pretend that he is a cisgender man claiming to be trans for no reason?
Gabe then joked that he is “so confused right now.”
We are glad, for his sake, that he is willing and able to laugh off this kind of mindless vitriol that the absolute dregs of society hurl at him.
He takes this in stride, but he should not have to. We wish that we lived in a world where Gabriel and millions like him did not have to grapple with bigotry.
First up, misgendering is garden variety transphobia. There are bigots in this world who sit up at night, foaming at the mouth over who other people are.
It’s sad, but it’s hard to feel sad for them when they fill themselves with malice.
No one else gets to decide Gabe’s gender — or anyone’s. It would be like assigning someone a favorite color. Hey, you might be right … but probably not. When transphobes misgender trans folks, their hope is that it’s the most hurtful and disrespectful thing that they can say. Sometimes, they’re right.
The other take … a conspiracy theory that Gabriel is secretly a cisgender man who decided to pretend to be a trans man, for, what, attention? That’s not a unique accusation from transphobes, but it’s still extremely unusual.
Part of it comes from the idea that certain bigots have that trans people “look” a certain way.
Which is not the case. Trans folks look many different ways. They’re like cis folks in that regard.
Perhaps it stems from the transphobic belief that they can “clock” every trans person.
That flavor of bigotry has only two paths: missing a lot of trans people who don’t meet your effed up standards, or becoming a “transvestigator” who believes that every politician and celebrity on the planet is secretly trans.
Yes, that’s a real type of conspiracy theorist and it’s even more unhinged than it sounds. They say this about the entire British royal family, in case you were wondering about an example. There’s no good or sane outcome.
By the way, the receding hairline? It’s an extremely common topic among trans men … because HRT can give them male pattern baldness if they have the genetics for it. You know, just like any other man with high enough testosterone levels.
Meanwhile, some trans women find that hormone replacement therapy restores their own hairlines. Again, this is just how human bodies work.
Transphobes love to appoint themselves Gender Deciders for other people. They’re not very good at it.